


Do you think it's time?

by Amie33



Category: Doctor Who RPF
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-16
Updated: 2013-07-16
Packaged: 2017-12-20 10:06:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,075
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/885984
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Amie33/pseuds/Amie33
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Do you think it’s time?” Matt whispers after a moment and Alex jumps a bit, realising she has been falling asleep. There’s something grave in his tone and she’s not sure what it means.</p>
<p>“Time to what?”</p>
            </blockquote>





	Do you think it's time?

**Author's Note:**

> I know I'm not the first one to write about this. I needed to give my own fantasised version of this moment.  
> Thanks to Sam for, once again, being a fantastic beta.

_"I wasn’t surprised because he and I had had a chat. At some stage you have to move on. We did discuss when would be the right time in a young actor’s career if they were very associated with a particular role. You have to move on otherwise it becomes very difficult because you get typecast."_ Alex Kingston on the One Show, 05/06/2013

x.

It’s the calm moment of cuddling after passion, their bodies still entwined, sweat cooling down on their skins and silence broken only by the harsh sound of their breath synchronising. Matt nuzzles Alex’s neck, and she sighs contentedly. Their arms are wrapped around each other and they feel like they could spend the rest of their life like that.

“Do you think it’s time?” Matt whispers after a moment and Alex jumps a bit, realising she has been falling asleep. There’s something grave in his tone and she’s not sure what it means.

“Time to what?”

“I was at the supermarket this morning, and there was this girl... She ran into me and grabbed my leg, shouting Doctor, Doctor.” He sighs and seems to cuddle closer, if such a thing is possible. “Her mum arrived a few seconds later, scolding her daughter because she shouldn’t run into strangers. She apologised to me and tried to explain to the girl that I wasn’t really the Doctor, just an actor...” Alex is fully awake now, because she can feel something is bothering Matt. Usually he would describe the scene with lots of motions and speak excitedly, and she would laugh at him in response, but tonight he just stays against her, his only movement his fingers dancing on her skin. “And then, she said, _Say goodbye to Mark Smith, sweetie_.”

She tries, because somehow Matt seems to be hurt, but Alex can’t help but bursting into laughter.

“ _Mark_ Smith?”

“Yes. _Mark_ Smith.”

He pulls back to look into her eyes and she can actually see hurt in them, but not only. He seems sad, and old - older than usual. It’s a thing he does sometimes, when something bothers him, and that's what makes him a good Doctor she thinks. He can look like a ten year-old and the next second his eyes reflect something ancient and ageless. But the Doctor is a character, and he’s not, at that moment it’s Matt, and he shouldn’t look like that.

“It made me realise something. Despite everything she had just told her little girl... I was the Doctor. For her, for her child, for everybody, I’m the Doctor. I will always be.” He pauses and his face turns into a grimace as his hands briefly leave her skin to run into his hair. “What if I’m never someone else again? What if in twenty years, people talk about me as the guy who was the Doctor once, what’s his name, Mark Smith, John Smith, Adam Smith?”

“Matt, it doesn’t mean...” she tries to interrupt him but he doesn’t seem to be able to stop and she can almost feel his fingers tremble as they’re back on her.

“What if I never find a role again? What if the only thing in my life is this one character? I love the Doctor, of course I do, but I want to do so much more. I don’t want to be the weird alien for the rest of my life. There are so many actors who played big roles and then the chance of a life becomes their curse... I don’t want that.”

He finally stops, his gaze lingering on her chest before he looks up and kisses the corner of her mouth. “What do you think?”

She bites her lips. What is she supposed to say? He can’t decide the rest of his life on her opinion only.

“I’m not sure what I think matters, honey,” she eventually replies.

“Of course it matters.” He smiles and she shivers, his hand stroking her skin more intently, his palm sliding down to her waist, circling her hips before sliding up her back.

“No, no. You should make your own decision and I can’t influence it.” She swallows, and he almost looks disappointed.

“But what do you think?” he attempts again, “You already had to face that kind of decision... Elizabeth Corday for instance, did you ever regret staying that long? Do you think you should have quitted before?”

“I...” she starts and then trails off, looking for the best way to say it. She hasn’t thought about this period for a long time, and so many things have changed since then... “You can’t compare. It was a different show, I had a different character, and I’m not you.” He makes a disapproving face and his fingers tighten around her back, but she continues before he can reply. “But, I can tell you this. Leave when _you_ want it. Not because the press wants it, or because Steven wants a new Doctor, or because the fans are disappointed. Listen to yourself. Leave when you’re ready to do it, not before, not after.”

Tension leaves his features and she knows she’s found the right words.

“But be sure,” she concludes, bringing her own hands up to his face to stroke his cheeks, “Whatever you decide, I’m with you.”

He turns his head and kisses her palm, his tongue darting out to taste her skin and she shivers.

“Thank you.”

He lets go of her hand and reaches out for her face, kissing her lips this time and she closes her eyes, losing herself in the kiss. Soon it turns more urgent, their tongues fighting and moans escaping their joined lips, and she can feel his growing erection nudging against her thighs as his hands come up to play with her breasts.

“Oh, yes, _Mark_ ” she whimpers playfully, and is proud to admire the faked painful expression on his face.

“Oi!”

She laughs as he tickles her in punishment, and the next minutes are spent fighting and making up.

The night passes and Alex doesn’t think about this conversation anymore, not until weeks later when she reads the announcement in the newspaper - Matt is leaving _Who_.

He is waiting for her when she comes back home that day, looking anxious, surely waiting for her agreement. She doesn’t say anything, instead smiling and kissing him, proving what she said earlier. Whatever happens, she’s here, and he’s here, and nothing can change that.


End file.
